FBI IN HEAVEN

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I guess many of you have heard different stories about the creation of the world and humans by different gods. Have you ever wanted to hear first-hand recounts from those gods? Well, this radio podcast “FBI in Heaven” will make your wish come true. This podcast entails an interesting interview with Yahweh - the Christian God and Pangu and Nuwa - who are famous creators of the world and humankind in Chinese history. From this interview, we will hear how different gods create the world and humankind, along with their thought processes. So, sit back, relax, and enjoy this interesting radio podcast interview! [soundcloud url="https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/259524942" params="auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&visual=true" width="100%" height="450" iframe="true" /]

God the Father, By Cima da Conegliano [Public domain]A portrait of w:Pangu from w:Sancai Tuhui, By Wang Qi (1529 - 1612) [Public domain]This image depicts the goddess Nüwa (女媧), By Xiao Yuncong (蕭雲從), 1596-1673 [Public domain]Background information:

Modified version of Yahweh is slightly boastful and mischievous

Modified version of Pangu is serious and slightly sensitive

Modified version of Nu Wa is friendly, curious, and girly

Transcript:

Opening music

Host: Hi everyone, welcome to FBI in Heaven. This is the one and only channel that will bring you the most exciting and exclusive news about your favourite deities! I am Thundergirl and today we are at deity world! Thanks to our special guests, we have the chance of being invited up here. Now, let me introduce to you guys our special guests who will be joining us for today. Firstly, we have God, also known as Yahweh in Christian and Catholic churches.

Yahweh: Hello listeners of FBI in Heaven! I am Yahweh, and I am so delighted to be invited on the show today! It’s boring up here in the deity world… All I do is manage the growth of my precious trees in the Garden of Eden sigh…

Host: No wonder the trees are so well managed! I am [sic] so amazed when I walked through the garden just now! It must not be an easy task!

Yahweh: DEFINITELY!

Host: Well, I am sure everyone in deity world appreciates your gardening effort! The second guest we have for today is Pangu! Wow Pangu, we have always heard stories about you originated from the 194 CE! It is really exciting to see you in person! Also, your birth story fascinates many of us. You are 100% human, but unlike all human beings, you were born from an egg! That is so cool! Once again, welcome to the show.

Pangu: Hi everyone, I am Pangu, the creator of Heaven and Earth.

Host: Looks like Pangu has also brought us a beautiful goddess with him! Let us welcome the most gorgeous and lovely Nu Wa!

Nu Wa: Hello everyone! Really excited to be here! I am Nu Wa, hope my tail doesn’t scare all of you.

Host: Obviously not, as we all know, that is your unique feature - a half-human and half-snake body.

Nu Wa: Yes! People often address me as the First Mother! This is because, I created the FIRST man on Earth. I am really looking forward to the rest of the show and hope to spend a wonderful time with you guys!

Host: So before tonight’s show, we did a poll among our listeners to find out what they want to hear from you guys! So we will now start with the most popular question. That is, how did you guys create the Universe and more specifically, Earth?

Yahweh: Ahhh, how did I create the Universe? That was pretty long ago, it was even before 1400 BCE! So in the very beginning of time, I created Heaven and Earth. But Earth was sooooo boring! It was without form and void. Me being artistic, I had to do something to show off my talents! I decided to input some light into the dark void space. So on Day 1, I said "Let there be light" and TADAAAAH! There was light! I then decided to introduce some water into Earth on Day 2 because you know water is very important! Human bodies are 70% made of water. So drink more water kids! Since water is checked, can you guys guess what I created next?

Pangu: Ermmmm food?

Yahweh: That’s right! Food is so important! So, I created dry ground for vegetation purposes. Plants and trees of all kinds were bearing fruits with seeds in it, of course according to their various kinds. Ahhhh now I am reminiscing on the good old days...

Host: Wow that sounds like a great piece of work! What about the living creatures we see today?

Yahweh: Ah yes yes! My favourite living creatures, I had a lot of fun with them before I created mankind.

Nu Wa: Living creatures? What living creatures?

Yahweh: Calm down. So on Day 5, I created all these special little creatures such as water animals and birds. But it was boring not to have animals prowling on land so I created living creatures of various kinds on Day 6 - livestock, creatures that move along the ground and wild animals. And that was how I created the basics of Earth!

Host: That is really impressive! You managed to create Heaven and Earth and gave Earth life in 6 days?! That deserves a standing ovation!

Yahweh: Thank you! But, I am a little curious about how Mr Pangu created Heaven and Earth.

Host: YES! I guess everyone is curious too. So let’s ask Pangu. Hi Pangu, we have heard many stories about you being born from an egg? Is that really true?

Pangu:  Yes, I was born from a big black egg and I slept inside for about 18000 years. When I woke up, I realised I was being trapped inside this giant big egg.

Host: 18000 years?! That’s really long! But, I am curious, what’s inside the egg?

Pangu: Inside the egg, there was the Universe filled with nothing but chaos, no Heaven and Earth as they were intermingled.

Host: So what did you do next? Did you crack the egg?

Pangu: Yes I did. When I woke up, I realised I was being trapped, I have [sic] no choice but to force crack the egg and managed to crawl out from it.

Host:  What did you see when you first came out of the egg? And what happened to the egg?

Pangu: Sadly, I see nothing. I split the egg into half - the upper half became the sky and the lower half became the Earth. To prevent them from intermingling again, I had to hold them apart. That is when I realised, the longer I hold them apart, the thicker they grew and the taller I became - by precisely 10 feet per day.

Host: No wonder people often call you a giant! So, what happened next?

Pangu: After holding on for another 18000 years, I was really exhausted and I thought to myself: I guess my time is up and it’s time for me to make my final sacrifice.

Nu Wa: Pangu you such an honourable man!

Pangu: Thank you for your compliment. So, eventually I gave up my body to form the various parts of the Earth. My left eye turned into the sun, and my right eye became the moon. My body turned into mountains, blood became water, bones and teeth became the most precious minerals man own on Earth now.

Nu Wa: What about your voice and hair? Did you give those up too?

Pangu: Yes, I did. My voice became the thunder, my hair became the grass, my breath became the wind and my veins became the roads and paths.

Host: Have you ever regretted those sacrifices you have made?

Pangu: Never!

Host: You are indeed a remarkable creator! Thank you for sharing! Now that we have listened to 2 very interesting perspectives of how Heaven and Earth was created, let’s move on to another hot question that listeners want to know! That is, how was [sic] human beings created? Shall we start with Miss Nu Wa? Wow you guys can’t see how Nu Wa looks like from our radio broadcast but she is indeed a renowned beauty. Let us welcome, goddess Nu Wa!

Nu Wa: Thank you for your compliment! I’m totally blushing right now!

Host: So, can you tell us about your creation of humans? I believe the audience out there are eager to find out.

Nu Wa: Ahhh yes. Thanks to the creation of the Universe by Pangu, life on Earth began. I was attracted by the beauty and peace of the Earth and I decided to descend from Heaven.

Host: What did you do when you first arrived?

Nu Wa: I was SO FASCINATED with all the creatures I saw for the first time. I started to wander around, swim in the water and fly through the air.

Host: Looks like you had a great time! But what led you or inspired you for the creation of human beings?

Nu Wa: One day, I thought to myself: how nice it will be for the Earth to be a place of civilization filled with friendly creatures living together. With this thought in mind, I began to create some friendly creatures that are just as friendly as - me.

Host: I see! Could you tell us more about your creation of humans?

Nu Wa: YES! ABSOLUTELY! For the first six days, I created animals. On the seventh day, I created the first man from the yellow clay I found on the riverbank.

Host: Did you stop your creation after the creation of first man?

Nu Wa: NO WAY! Instead, I became more excited and curious.

Host: Why do you say so?

Nu Wa: Because, I saw how complex and colorful the life on Earth would be because of men. Therefore, I began to work day and night to make more and more.

Host: You seem determined! But have you ever thought about giving up?

Nu Wa: After some days passed, I became really tired. However, like what you said, I am determined with the things I want to do and achieve. So I decided to change my method of creation. I made use of a rope, dipped it into the clay mud and flicked it around, causing mud to drop everywhere. Each drop managed to turn into a man or a woman.

Host: That’s a brilliant idea!

Nu Wa: However, some drops landed too far away, burnt by the Sun’s heat, and changed its color. Those drops ended up becoming people of other races.

Host: That was really insightful! Now, I know why there are people of different skin colour on Earth! How about you Yahweh? How did you create mankind?

Yahweh: Ah yes yes. I remember how I created my first man, Adam, with so much hope for him to rule over the creatures that move along the ground… He turned out to be such a disappointment sigh. But let’s not dwell in the past! So yes, I created my first living being from dust of the ground around 10,000 BC to 4000 BC. It has been so long I don’t remember the exact year anymore… I named him Adam and we loved to roam around the Garden of Eden together. However, Adam needed a helper comparable to him. Thus, I created Eve, the first woman, out of his rib when he was asleep.

Nu Wa: I think playdoh is totally modeled after us!

Host: I love that game! Now, let’s all take a short break and listeners can call in after the break to speak to our guests!

Music

Host: Welcome back to FBI in Heaven! As promised, we will now let our listeners speak to our guests! Let’s have our first lucky listener. Hello?

Listener: OMG I MANAGED CALLED IN? Helloooo?

Host: Yes you have managed to call in! How should I address you?

Listener: My name is Jessica!

Host: Hi Jessica! So who would you like to talk to?

Jessica: Omg can I talk to Mr Pangu?

Pangu: Hello.

Jessica: Hello Mr Pangu!!! My whole family is a great fan of yours! I think you are really noble! It was so sacrificial of you to give up your body parts to create the Earth! Thank you! You are such an amazing person!

Pangu: Thank you Jessica, it is my pleasure to sacrifice for a fulfilling purpose. Help me to say hi to your family too.

Host: Wow Pangu you are really popular! Jessica, do you have anything else to say to Pangu or other guests?

Jessica: I love you Mr Pangu!! That’s all! Bye!

Host: Thank you for calling, Jessica! And yes I agree with Jessica, indeed Pangu is an amazing creator.

Yahweh: Erm excuse me? I created Heaven and Earth in 6 days! Who is more amazing huh?!

Pangu: Well, but I sacrificed myself for the Earth. Did you do that?

Yahweh: I am an efficient and powerful god! No bodily sacrifice is needed! With a snap of my fingers, I can create whatever I want. Can you do that huh huh? Guess not cause you’re a pathetic human!

Pangu: Youuuuu

Nu Wa: Guys we are on air!!!

Yahweh: Seeeee you can’t come up with anything to refute right? HUH HUH!

Pangu: I can’t be bothered.

Host: Ahhhh it’s sad to say that our show has to come to an end. I believe all 3 guests today are really amazing in their own ways. I bet our listeners learnt a lot about the process of Earth and human creation. Thank you so much for coming on the show today! Do tune in to FBI in Heaven tomorrow at the same time as we have prepared another surprise guest! See you guys tomorrow!

Closing music

References:

http://www.livingmyths.com/Chinese.htm

http://www.cultural-china.com/chinaWH/html/en/13Traditions268.html

http://www.ancient-origins.net/human-origins-folklore/pangu-and-chinese-creation-myth-00347?nopaging=1

http://www.newworldencyclopedia.org/entry/Nuwa

http://www.gly.uga.edu/railsback/CS/CSPG&NW.html

http://www.mythencyclopedia.com/Ni-Pa/Nu-Wa.html

http://bibleview.org/en/bible/genesis/7days/

http://www.holyspiritinteractive.net/kids/questions/11.asp

http://www.gqkidz.org/how-God-created.html

https://answersingenesis.org/bible-characters/adam-and-eve/creation-date-of-adam-from-young-earth-creationism-perspective/

https://carm.org/when-was-bible-written-and-who-wrote-it

Music used:

Opening song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPW5A_JyXCY

Yay sound effect: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=waRq6ZR7BNE

Drumroll sound effect: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itAOGRiYRLI

Applause sound effect: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=heAw4z71lvo

Intermission song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FyASdjZE0R0

Ending song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyEuk8j8imI

 

**Featured Image: Free stock photo: Heaven, Sky, Blue, Clouds, Sun, By Pixabay [Public domain]