Erotica in Egypt

Hello in Hieroglyph
Hello in Hieroglyph

In case you missed the giant photo above (which means Egyptian for Hello), Hello (again)! S-E-X in Ancient Egypt is the name of the game today.

Besides being known as the land of mummies, pyramids and tomb raiders, Egypt was also known for its notoriety in all things related to sex (waggles eyebrows). FYI: Dildos, in the form of hard - really hard - bread, vegetables, wood and basically everything else that resembles the penis, can be traced all the way back to ancient civilizations. However, it seems that a mere dildo was not enough for our dear and mischievous Cleopatra. As a result, like her status, she was one up on everyone else and made the first vibrator by hollowing a gourd and filling it with live bees.

In Ancient Egypt, sex was seen as an unadulterated act and was embraced by everyone (Everyone was rrrrreeeaaalllyyy sexual, especially the Gods. FYI:

Ancient Egyptians had an annual ritual where the ruling pharaoh would ejaculate into the Nile

.), as it was of significant importance to Egyptians. The Egyptian religion was even filled with tales of

incest, homosexuality, adultery, masturbation and even necrophilia

. As you can see, sex in Ancient Egypt was hardly a topic to be ashamed about nor was it a taboo like in some modern societies where everyone had sex freely. Not a single eye was bat towards the rampant incest, homosexuality and sex workers. Even Egyptian art featured sexual images; a good example of this is this image of Hatshepsut and Senenmut going at it doggy style.

As mentioned above, Hatshepsut and Senenmut going at it
As mentioned above, Hatshepsut and Senenmut going at it

We could even speculate that the image above was the ancient form of pornographic images. Which brings us to our next point about the

Turin Erotic Papyrus

(E. L. James and the Karma Sutra ain't got nothing on this). Drawn up by a draughtsman on a scroll of papyrus around the year 1150 B.C., the Turin Erotic Papyrus contains 12 erotic vignettes depicting various sex positions (Identify as many as you can in the image below. Warning; no brownie points will be awarded). Since its discovery 3000 years later, albeit torn and missing some parts, it bears multiple interpretations, such as one where it was infamously dubbed the world's first male magazine.

Turin_Erotic_Papyrus
Turin_Erotic_Papyrus

Warning; spoiler alert for those who are identifying the positions in the naughty scroll. Sex was such an integral part of Ancient Egyptian's lives that they would even engage it bestiality, i.e. getting it on hot and steamy with the animals, as portrayed in the scroll. Among their Ancient Roman and Greek peers, Ancient Egyptians were notorious with respect to topics regarding bestiality. Despite bestiality being illegal, where swift and harsh punishment would follow those who were caught in the act, the act was very common (THE IRONY). Women would have sex with bucks and crocodile hunters would have sex with female crocodiles before killing them (Talk about some fetish, huh?). Hence I reiterate my point about Egyptians being reeeaaalllyyy sexual.

In Ancient Egypt, sex did not necessarily have to happen after marriage as the whole idea of virginity and its sacredness was completely non-existent! This sets the Egyptians apart from other ancient societies. Fertility and masculinity, on the other hand, held more importance, where in Ancient Egypt as long as a woman was attractive and beautiful, she was seen as fertile and of higher appeal to male suitors. So much for looks beauty being in the eye of the beholder. On the flip side, for men to be considered manly or masculine, he had to be able to have children.

As we have all learned in our lecture on Egypt, Ancient Egyptians value their afterlife, so much so that they would prepare their entire lifetime for it. Similar to the amount of emphasis it has in the living day, sex, no doubt held a place of importance in the Ancient Egypt. Ancient Egyptians were said to be able to have sex even in their afterlife. Due to this belief, male Egyptians tend to have false penises attached to their mummies whereas the female Egyptians will have artificial nipples attached to their mummies with the belief that these organs would become fully functional in the afterlife allowing them to engage in sexual intercourse.

With the uncountable orgys that they were having, you would think that sexually transmitted diseases would be rampant in Ancient Egypt. However, this does not seem to be the case where sexually transmitted disease was really little (almost as little as the amount of hair that Ancient Egyptians had left on their scalps) as Egyptians were real clean freaks. In order to prevent the spread of "love diseases" - their rendition of sexually transmitted diseases, Ancient Egyptians would shave off all of their pubic hair too.

Hence, in conclusion, other than being exXxtreme (Geddit?) hygiene freaks, Ancient Egyptians were BIG on sex and it seemed like they would want it anyway they could get it. Other than their religion and beliefs being a huge factor, why were the Ancient Egyptians that sexual? A possible reason could be that their behavior traces back to the innate human instinct to survive and reproduce. This reason coupled with the pleasure derived from engaging in sexual acts, there really seems to be no other reason why Egyptians should not live the active sexual lives that they have led. Or perhaps, it's simply because "Keeping up with the Kardashians" was not available to entertain them back then.

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